New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
