this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I had your ass I would rule the world
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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