I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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