So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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