yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
