I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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