My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
