is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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