just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
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i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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