Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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