he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
