I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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