Your tits are I can't wait for
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
