I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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