R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I need a beard to bite.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
