Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
