But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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