check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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