Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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