and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
