I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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