I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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