Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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