Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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