So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
