1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
