i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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