I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
