Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
