Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
