In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
