I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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