sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
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I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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