After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
