all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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