I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
