I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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