This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
