A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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