We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
