Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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