Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
