saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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