oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
nutella sex= disaster
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
