Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I look excited, but its just a facade.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
