hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize