When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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