my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
