He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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