so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
