I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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