He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Green mimosas i think yes
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
