We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
