There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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