There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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