I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
