go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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