Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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