How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
