I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Randomize
