I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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