Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
