the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
