I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
